Is Single life better than Married life?

I have been single now for 3 years. I love being single, it's fun, liberating, I wake up, eat, cook, travel, go to sleep whenever I want. I can be selfish when I want, I don't have to do all these things I mentioned whenever HE wants.... Feels so good.

Selma Fonseca

I noticed that when I was married I had lost myself, I was doing everything for my husband and whatever he wanted to do, I was cooking for him, doing his laundry, cleaning our house, having sex with him every night, even when I didn't want to, loving him, going to places that he wanted to go.

Women, now we have the opportunity to swipe right on any guy's photo while laying in bed, having coffee at an outdoor cafe, in the bathroom, while out with friends, anywhere in the world. We can even find men in another city or country if we like.

We can go on a date, dinner, drinks, the park, the beach, even a museum. Or we can just have sex, a one-night-stand with anyone we like. These days it's so easy to get the guy we want, no wonder no one wants to commit.

Men think that women want to commit and be in a relationship, and yes sometimes we do with the right person, but sometimes we just want to have good sex. And when we find good sex we want to have over and over again, that's all it is.

Guys, do you really think we want to cook for you, do your laundry, listen to your problems and suck the same dick over and over again? We don't mind doing these things and sometimes we get pleasure doing things for you, the problem is when you start taking us for granted, thinking and telling us it's our obligation to do.

Women are just more compassionate, and society says we should do it, but what we really want is a man that knows how to be a gentleman and fuck us really good.

It's great being in a relationship and have someone to come home to.

But guys wake up!!!   It's not just you that's horny all the time..... We are always horny too !!!

Do you really think women just want to have one dick forever and have sex in one position for the rest of our lives? Think again, No we don't, but we do it when we are in love.

My girlfriends always tell me how they love to have their ass slapped, a little bite on the neck, their pussy licked, and yes we love to suck your dick, jerk you off too, but if you are having sex for just 5 minutes and not satisfying your woman, then you are not doing a good job.

I have traveled to the most jet-set beautiful places in the world: NYC, Cannes, St Barth, Monaco, Nice, St Tropez, Sao Paulo, Rio de Janeiro, Montauk, Hamptons, Mykonos, Paris, London, Stockholm, and the conversation is always the same, men are getting lazy.

We still like cheesy, corny things like flowers, chocolate, romantic notes, gifts, but the most important thing is spending time together, that's one thing that my husband was good at, he always wanted to be together, in the beginning of our relationship, but then after 13 years he started to change traveling, he would be gone for two three sometimes four months, seriously? I mean who leaves a wife for four months? I need support, cuddle, and sex.

What Men Want, according to Men

I was sitting at the Soho House in West Hollywood with my two male friends, we started talking about relationships and dating, we all have been married but now we are single, so this is what one of my friends said about relationships:

"All we want from a woman is to be feed and fucked, just say to me: "Honey I love you, I wanna fuck you, come here I wanna give you a blowjob" he continues: "I love sucking your cock"

They also told me how men mind works: "If you have one date with a guy and he doesn't text you or call you he is not into you, he can feel that you are not compatible."

Dating on tinder

This is what I have found on The Dating App "Tinder".

 My Tinder profile

My Tinder profile

1. All depends on what you want out of it and what you are looking for. 

Before you swipe right you must ask yourself: "Do I want to get laid tonight?,  Or do "I want to find the love of my life?"

2. If you just want to have sex, send sexy and provocative messages.

If you want to have a relationship, talk about deep stuff and nothing sexual, play the angel game. You can show your sexy side when you meet in person. And read my post about what men: want: https://www.selmafonseca.com/sexingwithselma2/2017/9/24/men-loves-women-with-personality

3. Be clear on your profile who you are and what you are looking for, some guys do follows that, my profile clearly says that I'm looking for a relationship and NO hoop ups, but guys still send me messages saying I am so sexy and that they want to fuck.

4. You can pretty much know what a guy wants from you based on what he says in the first five messages.

If he says "you are sexy" for sure this guy just wants fuck, not just you, but anyone.

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If he says "you are beautiful" then he likes you, he still wants to fuck you, but at least he's polite about it.

If he says let's grab drinks or dinner, then he wants to get to know you and eventually fuck you, which I think it's normal.

What men doesn't understand is that women also wants to fuck and have good sex and hot orgasms, we are horny all the time, but we are different than men, we want to have more foreplay, kisses, dirty talking on the ear, flowers, chocolate, have a smart conversation, even holding hands.

How is your experience with Tinder ? Please share in the comments.

Why are we still wasting time on dating Apps?

I have yet to meet a person that has had a good experience with dating apps such as Tinder, Match.com, Bumble, Millioiraire Match. If you did please share your story with us.

I talk to my all friends male, female, gay, about dating and from our experience people on dating Apps just want to fuck. None of the dating apps are for dating, or finding love, or a relationship, people are only looking for Hook Ups, no one is looking for a serious relationship. It has became to easy to just call someone to fuck.

I spoken to people all ages on their 20's all the way to 70's and they told me they have horrible experiences.

So I question: "Why are people looking for a real relationship still using these Apps, including me". I guess the hope never dies. 

I think we need to go back to meeting people the old-days, at a house party, a restaurant, a bar, a sports event, church, temple.

What are your suggestions to meeting a great person?

Single for too long?

You know you have been single for too long when you start seeing the same guys on Tinder App!!!!

The key to a happy marriage - Acordinding to men

Saturday night in Beverly Hills my girlfriend and I were invited to a friend's birthday party at the Nineteen 12 bar inside the very posh, luxurious Beverly Hills Hotel.

We meet the birthday boy inside, let's nickname him "J".

At the beginning of the night we were two girls and two guys, we order a round of drinks, I like vodka soda, the waitress bring the drinks.

We talked, catch up, laugh and by the time we were ready to order another round of drinks there were a total of four guys.

By the third drink there were seven guys on our table, I got excited to be talking to all these guys about sex, relationship and love, so I asked the three guys that were married, what' the key to a happy marriage? One guy jumped from his seat and said, "Separate bathrooms is the key to a happy marriage", another guy said: "Anal Sex".

So I asked the single guys and one said: "If I get a girlfriend I won’t get married for a year". 

I think the key to a happy marriage is respect and having the same goal in life, whatever your goal is - having kids, achieving success, making a business together, traveling....

I was married for 18 years, we were very happy for 13 years but the last 5 years my husband took me for granted, didn't appreciate me and said I was fat, which to me it's unacceptable.

I try to tell him I wasn't happy with our relationship and the way he was treating me, but he kept treating me like shit, traveling without me, leaving me alone for months and spending all our money, so I decided to ended, it wasn't an easy decision. And after 3 years I am still hurting, but I don't wan to be with someone that doesn't appreciate me.

And by the way, at the end of the night 7 guys asked my girlfriend and I to pay for our drinks, what do you think of that?

What do you guys think is the key to a happy marriage?